Well it's after 4am. I can't sleep.. So I thought I would write in my journal, but you know... I really don't know what to say.. Of course I'm at my parents if I am on the internet. I'm just here for a short time, atleast I hope. I don't really feel like being on here, I just wanna crawl in a hole and well.....I just want things to get better. And I know that God has been listening to me and I know that he will help me..

Can you believe I have had 5 shots of my dad's "white lightening" and I still can't go to sleep.. It was hard enough for me to drive home, I kept looking at the side ralls and the tree's... Just crazy thoughts running through my head. But you know, I also kept telling myself.... "What if something happened to me tonite and I never got to see Wayne again".. That's what got me home. I know that Wayne loves me and he wants to be with me. He might have things that he needs to work out on his own and as much as I love him, I'm willing to give him that time. For there is NOBODY that has been as good to me as Wayne material wise and emotional.. I love that boy with every beat of my heart. He has made me feel good about myself and gave me hope in myself. I actually had someone tell me today that ever since me and Wayne have been together they can tell that I have a different "outlook" on life.. And that I am much happier.

I am.....I finally have someone that believes in me and that will back me up. That someone is the man that I love more than life itself..

YY I Love You Wayne! YY