I started on the floor Tuesday at LongHorn's. So I'm actually waiting tables and making tips. I'll just be glad when I start making some really good tips and not just $20 or $30 a shift. But like I have told myself, I have to start somewhere.

Anyway...Of course I have some drama...

Lastnite Josh decided that he wanted to have a talk with me about me and him. Well it ends up that he doesn't want to be with me as a boyfriend. He just wants a friend right now but I don't understand him at all.. One month it is this and the next it's something else and I told him about that too. I was sick and tired of him playing mind games with me. He's just on this kick of losing weight and getting ready to go fuck around in AZ when he goes to his sister's wedding. Which is fine, I mean you can't make someone be with you that doesn't want to be with you. I'm just hurt and upset. Hurt b/c me and Josh have so much in common and we want so much out of life. Upset b/c, he can't make up his mind about what he wants out of his life.

I just have to keep going and make that money. Then after the lease is up, I can get out of that house and get my own place.. I really had big plans for me and Josh and this house. But why should I make this house my house when in the end I'm just going to end up like I did with asshole. Kicked out and back home at my parents. So I have to make a change myself and not let that happen this time.

Of Course. for those of you that are wondering, My cell phone is still cut off. I haven't got the money up yet to pay the bill. I've still been trying to just make it so to speak...

I can still be reached at my email addy.. JustChillin078@yahoo.com