Well... I've been out of work for almost 8 weeks now. I finally went back to the dr and he told me that I could start putting pressure on it about 2 weeks ago.. So I did, but then after walking around wal-mart with my dad from one end to the other. I was having this BAD cramp in the back of my leg. So I just toughed it out. I would walk around, used a heating pad, soaked it, etc.. Well on Monday I called the Dr's nurse and told her what was going on. She told me that I should go to the hospital and have a ultra-sound, so I did. They came out and told me that I did have a blood clot. So they wheeled me over to ER. I sat in the waiting room for 3 HOURS and then finally got back to the back. Waited 45 mins for the nurse to come in there to even say hello. Then about 30 mins later the Dr walked it. I now have to take a SHOT 2x a day for 5 days. And then I have to take a blood thinner for about 5 months. UGH.. but it could have been worse!

I spoke with my "server" manager today and told him that I wanted to come back to work by Monday. But I did tell him that I would not beable to work like I did before I left (4+ tables), I need to work my way up to the way I was BEFORE I was out of work. So I have my follow up appointment on Friday morning, we'll see how it goes. I just want to get back to work and get back to doing SOME of the things I use to do.

I have decided that I do not want to keep going out like I did before. If I wanna drink after work then I can stop by the store and get a bottle of something, spending $20 bucks is ALOT better than $80 bucks. I have things I want to do. I wanna go to New Orleans again, Las Vegas to visit Scott that's another storey! But all in all I want to do things that I use to not be able to do so much than be stuck in the bar.. B/c I have learned since I have been out that the bar is still going to be there and nothing is going to change. I'm not going to miss out on anything.

Me and Scott... hmmmm.. Things are going good.. You know I have to be honest and tell you that I am crazy about him. I haven't been this way in a long time and I know that ppl have said things or maybe think things b/c he lives all the way in Vegas. But just like I told Scott, you never know what might happen. He could move BACK here or I could possibly move there. But then again I do have to tell myself NOT to get my hopes up and stuff.. You know what if I get out there and he finds something wrong with me or if I do something that he doesn't agree with.. I did tell him that even tho we aren't together, since we are far apart we have to good communication. And if he feels like we have something then he doesn't need to get upset and shut me out for something stupid. Lets talk it out and lets make it work. That's one thing I remember about my last relationship, Justin never wanted to work things out. He just wanted to keep it bottled up inside. Well now I know why, b/c he really didn't want to be with me anyways. ANYWAY===== days go by and I tell Scott that he digs deeper and deeper into my heart, the things that he says to me, the way he acts just through the phone or text means alot to me. Just like when I was in the ER he text me just about every hour or more to check on me, even tho Shane and Chris was there with me. That still made me feel good and made me feel like he really does care for me.. I do plan on going out there when I get back to work and can get the money saved up. I have asked him to come here, b/c he says that he wants a vacation but then he tells me that if he comes here I'm gonna have to share him with alot of ppl, which I don't understand completely but oh well.. If he comes here and wants to see those ppl than he can do so, but if he chooses not to then he doesn't have to, that's just my opinion. lol

I look forward to see where it goes with me and Scott, I look forward to getting to know him and him allowing me to be in his life and me allowing him to be in my life.


I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you,

Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all

Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you'll see

I'm crazy for you.....