Tonite I had to close with Susan and Caroline... Tomorrow I am off and I have to go to my first therapist appointment and then I am going to go lay in the tanning bed.

Obviously I called Wayne on Saturday nite when I got drunk, trying to find someone to come get me. Well he ended up calling my home phone, work, and my cell phone Sunday NITE around 10:30 to see if I was okay.. He said he was worried about me.. Well if someone called me at 3AM I wouldn't wait till the next nite to call and see if they were okay. I did call him back today before I went to work, just to be respectful and let him know I was okay. And of course he was fussing me out and yelling at me. When he called me on my cell phone from when I talked to him today, it was nite and day.. 2 totally different ppl.

Anyway.. My good friend Kevin (lilman) and his ex boyfriend Jeremy, I guess are gonna try and work things out. Kevin came in the store tonite with Jeremy and I didn't know what to say. I then talked to Kevin in the back room and he told me what was going on. I honestly wanted to get upset and start crying.... I don't understand.. They are atleast trying to work things out and are atleast talking to each other in good way.. Me and Wayne can't even do that, hell we had alot more going for us than they did. I was about to go back to school and we had a house, and dog together (which I really miss dearly).. There are somethings that I will never understand about mine and Wayne's relationship. I'm sure he get's thrills off of what I have to say in my journal about him and how I am still affected by our break-up. But everytime he calls me you never hear him as me, "How are you doing?"... It's always bitching and complaining.

Somethings I don't understand and never will..

My WONERFUL LESBIANS came to see me today.. I love them so much! Well I guess I'm about to hit the bed.