Today has been kinda hard.... It just seems like today the radio was playing every fucking song that I couldn't listen to. And since I was off, I could be at the house playing with Sabastian. I really miss him, coming home and knowing that there would be someone there waiting on me to get home that loved me. Even if he was a dog, he loved it when I came home from work. And I hated to leave him. He was like me in away, he wanted alot of attention. But I gave it to him, every minute I could. That's okay tho, I'm gonna get me another dog. I have been looking in the paper and stuff.

I have to take mama to the hospital in the morning for some test and then I have to be at work by 3pm, I"m only working till 9 which is good. I think I'm off on Friday. I'm gonna go and check out this gym that I got a free weeks pass to, a customer gave me. Like my WONDERFUL Lesbians said "I need to take time for Phillip now".. Hell I've been taking time for somone else for the past 5 1/2 months, I need to do what I want to do and take care of myself.

So since I have lost 15lbs and i'm trying to tan, I should join the gym to keep the weight off and plus I can look at all the hot straight boys working out to make me want to work harder. And hell who knows maybe it could a Queer As Folk scene in the steam room.. lol

Well it's been along day.... I didn't sleep good lastnite again. But of course I haven't heard from Wayne so I guess he has nothing to bitch at me about since he hasn't called me. You know if it was me breaking it off with him, i'm sure he'd be calling me left and right but since he thinks he did the right thing and left the person that loves him more than anything else. He doesn't bother to call me to say "Hello" or "How are you doing".. Hell Roger even does that, he called a couple of weeks ago to check on my mom and we talked for awhile. It was nice, he said somethings to me that made me realize some other stuff..

I have a wedding to go to, I got my invitation in the mail today, a girl I use to work with is getting married on May 21st so I will be there. I went by work today and requested that day off and Pride weekend off.

Well I'm gonna go and try to go to bed.. I will post more pics as I get time.