Yesterday was NOT fun at all.. I worked from 6:30-3 and then when I got off work I had to go to the Georgia State Patrol to get my licenses renewed. Well they took them, I have a thing on my licenses were I did not appear in court back last year. So now I have to call them on Monday and see what I have to do to get them back. I was SO nervous all the way over there and then all day yesterday. I hate dealing with the law like that.

I have to work today from 1:45-5 and then Jason is coming to pick me up so I can go spend the nite with him and he's going to bring me back tomorrow before I have to be at work. I have to drive my dad's truck to work cause he's going to be leaving in the morning to take my grandmother to Kentucky to see my Great Aunt, he's driving my mom's truck up there and my mom is going to drive my truck to work.

Anyway, I have 1 week from tomorrow that I will be leaving to go to Ohio. I'm really stressed about having enough money to go up there, but my dad said he was going to let me borrow some money, I just hope that he sticks with it. Well I have to get off of here and start getting ready.

*Hey Muffy & Adrienne, Love ya & Miss ya!!*

Well today when I got off work at 6pm, I went to Old Navy and returned everything I bought when I was with Nicole and got totally different stuff..

Anyway, today started off REALLY bad.. I was feeling really bad when I went to work and most of the day till I talked to Jason.. It's like my day got all better. So I'm sitting here talking to my friend Greg from Chattanooga, I haven't talked to him since March. And I thought that I would write in my journal right quick before I signed off, Cause I have to get in the bed tonite. I'm so sleepy and I have alot to do tomorrow when I get off work.

I did hear this song on the way home from work that made me think of Jason....

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd

Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

Well I just got home from Jason's. I spent the nite up there lastnite with him. Yesterday me and Nicole went around picking up stuff for her fashion show that's coming up the Saturday before we leave for Ohio. And then we went shopping at Old Navy and came home.

After Jason got home from his meeting we sat around and then went to eat at Applebee's. After that we came back home and watched some TV. Nicole then went to bed, Me and Jason sat up and talked for a good 2 hrs. It was good, I really enjoy sitting around talking to him and everything. He's a total sweetheart!! I so can't wait to go to Ohio with him and Nicole.

I have to get off of here now and get ready to go (BACK) to work, I stopped by there this morning to get me a coffee and she put me to work. So I came home right quick and took a shower and I have to be back at 9:30.

Well today I am off. I haven't been long woke up. I had to work yesterday from 9-5:30 and then came home. I hung out here at the house with my parents and then went up to Newnan to hang with my friend Matt, MA, Holley, & Gretchen. We all were at Texas Road house and then Holley & Gretchen decided that they wanted to go back to the apt and drink there. So we all left and went over there.

We were all sitting around drinking and cutting up. The next thing I know Holley and MA are just fussing about BS. Then Matt goes outside to the parking lot and is on the phone with his mom. MA ends up leaving. So after all that BS me and Gretchen went to Wendy's across the street to get something to eat, most of the time when I drink and I get tipsy I want something to eat.. LOL

Well we get back and eat and then go smoke a few cigs out on the porch. Then we all crash, Gretchen on the loveseat and me on the couch. lol
I woke up this morning and Gretchen had already left, so I got up and came home around 8:15, good thing I did cause my dad needed to leave at 9 to take the cat to the vet. After that I went back to bed, shit today's my day off I wanted to sleep late.

I called Jason a little bit ago, but he went back to work today for the first time in 2 weeks. I really really hope that he is going to be okay... It's gonna be weird not talking to him as much as I did when he was out of work.. But it's all good. He's gotta make some money. Especially cause we are going on that trip. I'm so excited I can't wait!!

Well I'm gonna get off of here just incase he calls, I don't wanna miss his phone call.

Well let me see where I should start...... I had to work today from 4:45 till close. My first nite closing with Jon, he was pretty good. I enjoyed it. We got out of there at a decent time. Of course I didn't want to go to work at first, cause I just didn't feel like it. I would have much rather been at Jason's in the bed with him. (Call me crazy if you want.) I am, atleast for him. Being with him and just spending time with him makes me feel so good inside. It's like we are best friends but at the same time we are boyfriends. And it feels like we have known each other for a long time. And YES I keep telling my heart to hold back and let things go as they are, I'm not rushing anything, I'm just enjoying every minute I get to spend with him. And every minute that I am away from him, I think about the next time I will see him. His smile, his laughter, his everything. I mean we are going to be together for a month and 1/2 . I just hope that he can stand it and doesn't get tired of me or anything. And You know, I keep telling myself NOT to base this on the past and I'm not. The things that Jason has said to me, I will never forget and they are in my heart and mind. As I have said before and will continue to say, Jason is a gift from GOD.. He's himself around me and I feel so good and so comfortable around him.

And YES I know Jason reads this, but as I say "This is my place to let things out and tell you about what goes on in my life".. So there is no reason for me to stop now just b/c he reads it. If there is something in here that I say that he doesn't agree with or anything I'm sure that he will tell me.

While I was at work and on break I did talk to MY WONDERFUL LESBIANS!! They are coming to see me tomorrow, Hell I haven't seen them in forever, atleast that is what it seems like. There is SO much that I have to fill them in on. I really miss seeing them at work and talking to them while I'm on break.

So, I have to be back at work at 8:45 in the morning even tho I closed tonite. It's gonna be a rough day tomorrow, I think I am going to go lay in the tanning bed to relax me... Plus I wanna keep what little bit of tan I have going for when I go to Ohio.. I can't wait, I'm sure it's going to be SO much fun.
2 MORE WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To Jason...

Since the first time I met you,
I couldn't seem to forget you.
And lately I seem to find,
That you're always on my mind.
I feel so happy around you,
And I thank God that I found you.
At first I thought of you as a really good friend,
But I realized that my feelings there didn't end.

Oh, when I see you smile,
It makes my life worth while.
And since the very start,
You have been in my heart.
When my lifes skies are dark and gray,
You chase all those storm clouds away.

I've never felt this way before,
And honestly that is for sure.
I'm so glad that we did meet,
For now my life is complete.
You're what they meant,
By heaven sent.