Well, I was at home and decided to come to Shane's for the weekend... So I'm in Chattanooga......
YAY!!!!!

I'll be here till Sunday. We are about to go out.

I thought that when I got home from work tonite I would be very sleepy. But I wasn't, so I thought that I would check out somethings on line for a little bit.

I can't believe I have to be back at work by 4AM..Anyway.. I need the money

Nothing really happened today. I stayed around the house till time to go to work and then Adrienne & Muffy came up to work to see me. Not that many cute guys came in the store today. I said something to Jan tonite "Where in the hell are all those gay guys that use to come in here when I couldn't do anything" She just laughed and we both agreed that's how it works..

Well I'm gonna go lay down and try to go to sleep..

Yesterday after getting off work at 3, I went by the tanning bed and then to Wal-mart to pick up something for my mom. I had to go back by work to make sure what time I had to work today and friday. I told David I would open with him on Friday not thinking that I had to close tonite. So I'm gonna have to come home after work tonite and go straight to bed. I'll only get about 3 hrs of sleep then I have to be back up to go to work again. But I'm only working for 4 hrs. I just needed the extra cash..

I came home yesterday and was watching some more of the Queer As Folk, I'm on my last dvd. Marc called me and said something about going to Swinging Richards, I really didn't want to go there. Hell I haven't been in 2 years why go now.. After I hung up with him, my friend Larry (customer) called me and wanted me to go hang out with him at this little bar up by the airport. Well I did, I met him at my work and rode with him up there. We got there prolly around 8 and didn't leave till about 1:30. I had a very good time. There were some crazy straight girls in there dancing up on the bar, well Larry and a couple of girls kept telling me to get up there and dance too.. I told them I had not had enough to drink. lol Well after about 3 shots, I got up there and danced with the girls. It was really fun in that little bar. I'll have to go back again soon.. One of the owners is gay and the bartender is gay (who's very cute). There was even a police officer that came in who is gay.. I was like good god, in this little town.. Hell, look at Newnan.. hahaha

I have to be at work today by 3, I dunno if I'm gonna go lay in the tanning bed before then or not. I am waiting on my clothes to get through drying. If I have time then I might.

This morning I thought I was never going to get out of the bed.. I was so sleepy. Although I did get a wake up call at about 8:30 from this fucking HOT guy that I went out with on Saturday nite... He was just calling to see how I was doing and wanted to tell me that he had a great time. He told me he wanted to go out again. I was really surprised, I mean he is hot as fuck. Built like a rock, but a total sweetheart. What a way to start off my day (YAY!!!)

Anyway..I went to my first appointment with my therapist today, it went really good. I look forward to going back on Tuesday. After that I went to the tanning bed and then I stopped by work to see what time I have to work tomorrow. 7AM but atleast I get off at 3:30 and I have the evening to do what I want to after 4 cause I have to tan.. lol

Besides the news of my hot date calling me today and wanting to get together again.. I checked out this website that I am a member of, NOT a sex site or anything like that.. But I signed in and I was on the front page, where EVERYBODY could see that has an account, I was one of 4 men that had the most views of their profile. I couldn't believe it, I almost fell out the fucking chair. To be in the same category as those hot guys. So my day has been really good. All this self esteem boost.. lol

I am trying to finish watching the first season of Queer As Folk Season 1 that David let me borrow, the scenes I watched today just made me think about me and Wayne and how stupid I use to be about things.. I just laughed. One of the guys were going to the bathhouses while he told his lover he was eating with a client. I've heard that one before or the I'm running late b/c I had a meeting with a trick, oppss I mean bride..

I found a certain quote that I wanted to share with you guys...

"Be Who You Are And Say What You Feel,
Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter
And Those Who Matter Don't Mind"

Tonite I had to close with Susan and Caroline... Tomorrow I am off and I have to go to my first therapist appointment and then I am going to go lay in the tanning bed.

Obviously I called Wayne on Saturday nite when I got drunk, trying to find someone to come get me. Well he ended up calling my home phone, work, and my cell phone Sunday NITE around 10:30 to see if I was okay.. He said he was worried about me.. Well if someone called me at 3AM I wouldn't wait till the next nite to call and see if they were okay. I did call him back today before I went to work, just to be respectful and let him know I was okay. And of course he was fussing me out and yelling at me. When he called me on my cell phone from when I talked to him today, it was nite and day.. 2 totally different ppl.

Anyway.. My good friend Kevin (lilman) and his ex boyfriend Jeremy, I guess are gonna try and work things out. Kevin came in the store tonite with Jeremy and I didn't know what to say. I then talked to Kevin in the back room and he told me what was going on. I honestly wanted to get upset and start crying.... I don't understand.. They are atleast trying to work things out and are atleast talking to each other in good way.. Me and Wayne can't even do that, hell we had alot more going for us than they did. I was about to go back to school and we had a house, and dog together (which I really miss dearly).. There are somethings that I will never understand about mine and Wayne's relationship. I'm sure he get's thrills off of what I have to say in my journal about him and how I am still affected by our break-up. But everytime he calls me you never hear him as me, "How are you doing?"... It's always bitching and complaining.

Somethings I don't understand and never will..

My WONERFUL LESBIANS came to see me today.. I love them so much! Well I guess I'm about to hit the bed.

I had a blast lastnite.. We went to Oscar's and out to eat at this really good Mexican place. After that we went back to Oscar's for a little bit and then to RedChair. We hung out there for about 2 hrs and then he brought me back to my truck. It felt really good to be treated good again, like a human.. I forgot what it felt like to have someone that wanted to kiss you and touch you. Someone that complimented you on your looks and other things. Especially coming from someone as hot as he is....Good LAWD...lol

I then went to Heretic to hang out with Nick and Marc. Thank god I had already been drinking cause I don't too much like that place. We ended up getting home at about 9 this morning and then I went back to sleep till about 2, after that I watch some more Queer As Folk and went over to Kevin's new house to check it out. Then I went over to Misty's and hung out with her and Andy and the kids. I haven't been long got home. I needed to wash some clothes and get rested up for tomorrow. I have to work from 3-close and then I have a dr's appointment on Tuesday. After the Dr I am going to go hang out with this guy for awhile. Maybe go see a movie or whatever.

God it feels so good to have a social life again and doing things I want to do.